


Useless Organs

by GothMoth



Series: Prompt Fills [4]
Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Dissection, Gen, Mutilation, Organ Removal, Torture, self mutilation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 17:07:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18319619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothMoth/pseuds/GothMoth
Summary: Danny now finds his internal organs to be completely replaceable and promptly replaces them.





	Useless Organs

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt Creator: danphanwritingprompts  
> Prompt: write a dissection fic but without any angst
> 
> (Sorry Mr. Lancer, maybe start wearing gloves)  
> (Little author side fact, humans can, in fact, wind up with green organs but the brain will be a far lighter shade of green.)

Danny looks around nonchalantly “So, I discovered I don’t really need most of my organs” Sam sputters out some soy milk “Danny what!?!??”

Danny chuckling simply replies “yeah this squishy brown one just sorta came out”

“Jesus Christ dude, how’d you discover that without uh” Tucker stutters “without uh, yeah” Sam rolls her eyes though squeezing her drink a little too tight.

“Eh, it was just Skulker. Got a little too friendly with his new toy, nice blade though” Danny somewhat fondly reminisces. “It’s almost sweet him caring enough to make weapons just for me”

“Yeah like a new age Romeo” Sam sighs sarcastically. “You should kiss him next time” Tucker adds making an exaggerated kissy face. “You know, say thanks for his “affectionate” gifts” he doesn’t even bother with the air quotes cause honestly who knows.

“I think I’ll pass on that one tuck” Danny groans but with a hint of a laugh.

\- 5 days later -

After handing Lancer his for once actually finished though barely on time paper, Danny gives his locker a nice slam shut.

“Dude, I’m not normally one to question your, well everything, but uh where the Plasmius have you been keeping all your school stuff today” Tucker says eyeing Danny humorously. “I haven’t even seen you carrying a note pad”

“Eh, It’s easier to keep things inside instead of carrying them, especially with all the ghost fights” Tucker stares with complete confusion, but Danny continues. “Though Dash broke two of my pens with that gut punch” just as Dash runs past, hip-checking him into the wall. “I think I’m actually more confused now, buddy. Inside? Inside what?”

“Dude, duh” Danny sighs, while rubbing his arm, he then points to his stomach. “Nothing else’s there so might as well use the free space”.

“Not only am I not going to comment on that, I’m not going to even think about it” Tucker gags.

“Talk about what guys?” Sam cuts in as she runs up. Jarring Danny just enough to cause a loose pencil to pierce through the skin of his lower left rib.

“Aw shit, forgot where I put that” Danny says as he nonchalantly pulls the pencil out of his skin, only a little bleeding.

“Danny. What. The. FUCK” Sam simply stares.

“Danny’s, uh, keeping stuff inside, apparently” Tucker gives in a somewhat pained filled response.

“Excuse? Why on earth would you do that” Sam now slightly less concerned, at least there’s a reason.

“Like I just told Tuck, might as well use the” chuckling “free real estate”.

“Wha-“

“Woah woah wait hold on a minute” Tucker cuts in wide-eyed. “all the papers you handed in today, those were” *staring intensifies* “those were all inside you?!”

“Well it’s not like I can keep explaining all the ectoplasm stains and burns” shrugging Danny states both exhaustedly and matter-of-fact.

“Uh, I think I’m going to need a tofu burger for this explanation” Sam cautiously sighs as the trio turns to walk out the front doors.

\- At the nasty burger -

“So…”Sam starts

“Yeah! So……” Tucker cuts off.

“And I thought you didn’t want to hear about it” Danny says while waving a fry in Tucker’s general direction.

“That was before a freaking pencil perforated your stomach”

“Closer to my rib really but” Danny swirls his hand dramatically in the air. “You can blame my parents” he stated with a shrug.

Sam, immediately wide-eyed “Oh no”

“They shot school supplies inside your body?!?!” Tuck cuts in.

“Bahahahaa” Danny laughs loudly “god no” wheezing, he continues “I mean I wouldn’t put it past them to invent a gun that shoots ghost disintegrating pencils” rolling his eyes “The Fenton-pencil-pusher!”

\- cut to one imaginary overexcited Jack Fenton running around with an oddly pencil shaped shotgun with the name Fenton on it -

“But no, you remember the whole Skulker second handedly relieving me of my organ?” Danny questions with a chuckle.

“Uh yeah. You said it grew back” Sam says as she pushes him on with her eyes.

“Which is both a yikes and a gross” Tuck mumbles between a bite.

Danny, chuckling “well…..the reason I know that is cause my parents had one of their somewhat-painful-for-me moments” pausing. “Somebody paralysis thing, which they joyed in showing me might I add” Danny says with a hint of a smile.

“Dude what, you mean they caught you” Tucker says more alarmed but still food focused.

“Danny……” Sam starts

“it’s fine, it’s fine” waving her off. “Yes I wound up on a table and yeah there were samples taken” rolling his hand and taking a sip of his bubblegum milkshake. “But I learned more than they did”

“So uh, no major harm done and they didn’t find out your secret” Sam pushes with a relieved smile.

“Ha! So much for they were going to dissect you and rip you apart molecule by ghostly molecule!” Tucker laughs.

“Oh no, they totally did” Danny deadpans with a smirk.

“Wait what” Tucker slightly chokes on his burger.

\- cut to three days ago -

“Jack Sweety, this is really quite odd”

“I know! Ghosts don’t breathe!” Jack says both excited and confused

“We’ll have to take a look inside to really know” Maddie says still confused but ever the scientist. Nothing like a good mystery.

Danny unable to move or speak can only watch. But he finds himself less concerned than many would think he ought to be. He has after all been in this situation before and they didn’t even get past the whole laser thing.  _Talk about standing a guy up am I right?_ Danny’s mind mutters to himself with a chuckle.

“Jack dear, you’re missing the clamps” Maddie looks back endearingly

“Oh sorry Madds, now let’s open ghosty up like some sweet sardines!”

 _Oh nice nothing like a sappy romcom with a side of my internal organs, literally_ Dannymentally jokingly quips. Mentally grimacing  _the romcom bit is honestly more gross, potential mortal wounds I can deal with but parental pda? I don’t think so_

Danny catching a glimpse of the bone saw, rib saw, scalpels, sizers and enterotomies.  _Well less colourful and portable than Skulkers but I’m sure it gets the job done_ Danny pauses  _though if Skulker is any hint maybe…._ Danny with a pinch of his families scientific curiosity becomes far less interested in getting out of this mess.

As the two scientists get to work eventually having neatly secured his chest open with clamps Danny finds himself surprised at the pain level  _honestly this is preferable over that stupid Spector deflector and I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that my organs have green tints._

After having pulled out a length of intestine and having a look inside via the wonders of the enterotome. These scientists are far too distracted to realize that a certain something hasn’t lasted as long as it should have.

“Well uh this has been fun and all but…” Danny quickly leaps off but somehow winds up with two scientists a little tied up, tied up in intestines; his still slightly attached intestines. Which results in them both getting choked out, and his intestines becoming completely dislodged.

“Shit, nice going Fenton, stupid Fenton” facepalming. Completely forgetting about his injuries and the clamps still attached, now flapping around with his flayed skin. Danny checks that he didn’t just accidentally kill his parents, the little triangle of flayed skin on his chest wacking him on the chin in the process.

“Thank Phantom” chuckling “could you imagine that headline” air-quoting he continues “Incapacitating Intestines: Killed by Innards!” With dramatic jazz hands he floats up through the ceiling but quickly zips back down. “Jazz would probably Psychoanalyse me to full death for forgetting that I’m still flayed open like a full corpse” he chuckles finding that rather funny. “Look at that two half-dead jokes in one go! Ha!” He adds while eyeing the Hagedorn needles. Shrugging “Sam would kill me for just doing this myself but what she doesn’t know….” he trails off as he sits down with needle and twine in one hand and the new Murder By Death Album in the other. He whistles along aggressively yet softly while sowing himself up, almost forgetting about the clamps till he accidentally sows one in. “Ok that was dumb haha” phasing it out he shakes his head and yawns. “Sweet Plasmius I need to sleep” floating up to bed “HA! Sleep for a Ghost! mom would get a riot out of that”

Maddie upon waking groans and hears her lovable oof “drat the ghost kid’s gone, what happened!?” Looking around Maddie adds on a positive note “Well At least we got all the organs” she smiles though grimacing at the mess of intestines on the ground around her and Jack. “I still don’t get how these even exits…..”

The next morning Danny wakes up to the unfortunate realization that he may have forgotten a few things in the lab.

“Well shit, my DNA’s probably in that. No way I can let mom and dad keep that” chuckling “guess I’ll make a quick pit stop while dad’s distracted by food” lucky for him Johnny’s Shadow gave his parents some wicked bad luck that night.

Meanwhile, On some far off ghostly road one biker lad mutters “I may not like the kid but what the hell” he mentally shudders at the fact that the kid seemed more sleepy than concerned. “I don’t even want to know what were in those jars Shadow wrecked”

\- returning to present -

“Yeah, by samples I mean organs. And that funny brown one? Yeah that one included” Danny shrugs “so hey things grow back” Danny says cheerily. “Takes exactly one whole day though”

“And why, no how? Do you know that” Sam says with far less concern than is warranted.

“Well my parents are experimenting scientists extraordinaires! And I am their kid” Danny says in a way that makes it seem like this answer should have been obvious.

“Danny no…..” Sam stares as Danny chuckles and rubs his neck “Danny yes?” He says like a scolded dog.

“Dude I’m not even sure I want to hear this, cause uh……sounds like you played doctor and not the sexy kind” Tucker mutters.

“Well if I find a chic who likes to play the xylophone on my exposed ribs, it could be the sexy kind” Danny winks and Tucker yet again chokes on his, second, burger.

“And people say I’m the morbid one, jeez Danny” Sam sighs.

Danny chuckling “turns out the whole Y incision thing is pretty easy to do, and once you get down far enough” gesturing down to his stomach “just spills out like soup” Danny shrugs.

“Thanks dude, now I can never have soup again” Tucker winces

“Oh like they do anything different to those poor cows!” Sam says while both Tucker and Danny roll their eyes.

“But seriously Danny what the hell and what does this have to do with you having a pencil inside you?” Sam says getting back to the point.

“Huh? Oh yeah, well since my parents just took all my organs and I didn’t die, obviously I don’t really need them” Danny shrugs

“Yeah sure, you totally don’t need your organs Danny” Sam says, filled with sarcasm. “But that still doesn’t explain the pencil and what was that you said about papers?”

“If I don’t need my organs than I’ve got some, free real-estate” chuckling.

“Dude, you already use that one”

Ignoring Tucker cause what does he know about appropriate meme usage Danny continues “I’ve just elected to remove the useless and place in the useful”

“Which means what exactly” Tucker pushes cautiously while Sam just gapes.

“Dude, take out the organs, put in the school shit and other necessities”

Tucker yet again chokes “if my organs are useless they don’t need the protection, my school supplies and thermos however….”

“Jeez dude, doesn’t that like, hurt?”

“Tucker, I’ve half lived through every possible injury known to the living and dead. Self-administered cuts and daily organ removal doesn’t even register”

“Even I think that can’t be healthy Danny” Sam sighs. “Your sister will freak when she finds out”

“Oh please, like I’m going to tell her. She’ll go all nosy big sister on me” Danny rolls his eyes

“Yeah and like keeping secrets from her has ever worked out” Sam retorts.

Danny waves her off just as his ghost sense goes off. Looking out the three spot not one but two giant snake ghosts, unfortunately not going in the same direction. Danny holds up a thermos and asks “so who wants to go after the second one” with a raised eyebrow.

“Uh dude, that depends on where that’s been” Tucker eyeing the thermos cautiously. Danny just laughs.

 **End**.

 


End file.
